15 Ways to Make a Road Trip Awkward

Roadtrips are super fun, but do you find you are always the driver?
When making plans you are automatically volunteered to chauffeur?

Here are a few ways to make a roadtrip so awkward your friends may think twice about voting you into the drivers seat.

  1. Continually refer to the car ride as a date.
  2. Honk the horn along to your favourite songs.
  3. Put on an audio book starting from chapter 20. Turn it up loud enough that passengers cannot make conversation.
  4. Play the game: “How close can we drive to the car in front.”
  5. Play the game: “How long can I drive with my eyes closed.”
  6. Announce at the start of the trip that, because you are trying to beat your last driving time, you will not be stopping for pee breaks. Hand out bottles “just in case”.
  7. Blast heat. Take off shirt.
  8. Bring up the “theory” of global warming.
  9. If driving late at night: wait until passengers are all sleeping then see how often you can hit the rumble strip.
  10. Fart. A lot.
  11. Make sure the trunk is so full of your stuff that passengers have to hold their gear on their laps. Bonus points if the stuff in the trunk is obviously completely unrelated to the trip. (Example: Bag of dog food but you didn’t bring your dog, full size vacuum, cases of empties, etc.)
  12. Regularly pull over and threaten to turn the car around if your passengers don’t settle down!
  13. “Veto” conversation topics.
  14. Every time a car changes lanes in front of you, swear loudly about being cut off. Ask passenger to roll down window and give them the finger.
  15. Don’t share the bottle of whiskey.

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10 Tips for Car Living

Before I started rock climbing, my life was all about whitewater.  Three days after I bought my first used car (Beauty), I packed up and headed out west to Canmore, AB to a good paying raft guiding job and new rivers and creeks to kayak! Unfortunately, AB tourism was hit hard that year and trips were WAY down: instead of working 6 days a week I was lucky to do 1.  This gave lots of time to go on missions exploring rivers around AB and BC–which was awesome–but I was barely able to afford gas.

car

Beauty ready to run shuttle

With dwindling funds and an uncertain future in Canmore, I decided to give up the room I rented in a shared house and move into my car.  I figured I would probably be moving on anyways soon and it saved me a bunch of cash (Unfortunately, living in a tent wasn’t an option because there is no such thing as free/cheap camping in Canmore).

Now, Beauty is no tricked out Sprinter van, pick-up, caravan or Subaru station wagon (all luxury to sleep in).  She is a 2000 Chevy Cavalier with a cd player, manual doors and windows and seats that dont go completely down.  But I managed to make a pretty good home out of her, and thought I’d share some  tips on how to make the most out of living out of your car, whether you are on a road trip or just enjoy a simpler (dirtbag) lifestyle…..

10 Tips for Living out of Your Car 

1.  Curtains:  A necessity.  Not only do curtains give you some privacy, they also block out streetlights and the morning sun.  I tried a Velcro system that didn’t work very well and just ended up screwing some picture hooks into the roof.

2. Get Comfortable:  Try to find a spot where you can sleep as flat as possible and make sure you can stretch your legs out! My car seats did not recline more than 130 degrees, so for me that meant putting down the backseat and sleeping pretty much in the trunk.  (Trunks have more space than you think!)  Have lots of blankets and a sleeping bag handy: they will keep you warm and cover up seatbelts/armrests/other uncomfortable things that always manage to be in the wrong place.

3. Incognito Parking:  Just because you are sleeping in your car doesn’t mean people want you to do it in front of their houses or businesses. Some parking lots do not allow parking over night, and a car pulled over on the side of the road in the middle of the night in a remote area is somewhat suspicious… and may result in a visit from the cops to make sure there is no emergency (or drug deal).  My favourite places to park and sleep include: Walmart parking lots, the parking lot of hotels/hostels/motels, campground or recreation area parking lots, truck stops, carpool parking lots and remote areas that have houses close by.  I recommend avoiding crag parking lots (unless there is camping available there), residential side streets, apartment complex and bar parking lots because you are likely to get hassled. Have several spots and cycle through them rather than becoming a staple at one and risk getting asked to move along!

4.  Baby Wipes:  No access to a shower? Spill on your dashboard? Need to clean a dirty dish but ran out of water? These are lifesavers.  Wipe away smelly feet after a big day hiking or climbing or freshen up after some mobile-sexy-time.  (If baby wipes are not for you, I highly recommend Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap…it cleans everything.)

5. Power Inverter:  If you don’t have a solar panel, this is the next best thing for charging your phone, computer, camera and running electronics or whatever else plugs in.  Keep in mind, if something draws a lot of power it might not run off an inverter (like a kettle or toaster oven…I used one of these to boil water fast). Even if you are not using the inverter, unplug it at night to make sure your car still starts in the morning!

6. Showering: Gyms, recreation centres and campgrounds will usually let you use their shower facilities for a small fee.  I’ve found these are usually cheaper options than stores in resort towns that offer showers (which also usually have time limits and may not be as clean).  If you are staying in a place for a while it is worth looking into getting a gym membership to have regularly access to the facilities. If you are low on cash, I’ve been told if you wait until “off” hours (when the check-in desk is closed) you can casually just walk into campgrounds and use their showers.  And sometimes you can casually walk in and use the pool and pool showers at hotels.  But of course, I wouldn’t know this from firsthand experience…this is just what I’ve heard…

7. Wi-Fi Access:  Because even if you live in your car you want to stay connected!  Many businesses offer complimentary internet (that you can usually access from the parking lot) such as McDonald’s (who also have clean bathrooms and staff that don’t ask questions…), coffee shops like Starbucks or Tim Hortons and Laundromats.  If these places are not handy, many motels/hotels have wi-fi that is not password protected and signals you can pick up from their parking lots.  If all else fails, you can usually pick up at least one unprotected wifi signal while parked in front of an apartment building or find one by driving slowly through a residential area with your laptop open (umm….again, so I’ve heard….)

8. Compartmentalization: Keep your clothes neat and car organized and smelling good by putting your stuff in rubber bins with sealing lids.  I recommend a separate bin for gear and one for clothes so all of your things don’t smell like dirty feet or rotting river gear.  I usually throw a couple Silica gel packs into my bins to keep them dry and avoid that weird musty smell.

9. Out of Sight, Out of Mind:  If it looks like your living in your car, no matter how beater your vehicle is, someone will assume you must have something of value in it.  And even if there is nothing to steal inside (as was in my case…they took a $10 inverter and a Bob Marely cd), fixing a broken window sucks and is expensive.

10. Friends:  Friends can make all the difference: they have warm couches on cold nights, showers, kitchens with freezers, fridges and stoves, basements to store your stuff, backyards to leave your bike or kayaks and driveways to park in. BUT A CAVEAT! Friends also have their limits…which is why #1-9 on this list exists.  If living in your car means living off your friends, you should just move in and pay them rent. To keep your options open I recommend the following:

      • Call or ask first before you show up
      • Bring beer.  Baked goods are good too!
      • If making food, make some for everybody.  And dont leave a mess!
      • Use your own stuff (food, shampoo/soap, towels, laundry soap, etc.)
      • Offer to help (cleaning, cutting grass, chopping firewood, babysitting)
      • Leave no trace!

In the end, I stayed in Canmore for 5 more months.  I eventually moved out of my car/off of friend’s couches and into a friend’s garage:

garage

Awesome low cost garage living