Roadtrips are super fun, but do you find you are always the driver?
When making plans you are automatically volunteered to chauffeur?
Here are a few ways to make a roadtrip so awkward your friends may think twice about voting you into the drivers seat.
- Continually refer to the car ride as a date.
- Honk the horn along to your favourite songs.
- Put on an audio book starting from chapter 20. Turn it up loud enough that passengers cannot make conversation.
- Play the game: “How close can we drive to the car in front.”
- Play the game: “How long can I drive with my eyes closed.”
- Announce at the start of the trip that, because you are trying to beat your last driving time, you will not be stopping for pee breaks. Hand out bottles “just in case”.
- Blast heat. Take off shirt.
- Bring up the “theory” of global warming.
- If driving late at night: wait until passengers are all sleeping then see how often you can hit the rumble strip.
- Fart. A lot.
- Make sure the trunk is so full of your stuff that passengers have to hold their gear on their laps. Bonus points if the stuff in the trunk is obviously completely unrelated to the trip. (Example: Bag of dog food but you didn’t bring your dog, full size vacuum, cases of empties, etc.)
- Regularly pull over and threaten to turn the car around if your passengers don’t settle down!
- “Veto” conversation topics.
- Every time a car changes lanes in front of you, swear loudly about being cut off. Ask passenger to roll down window and give them the finger.
- Don’t share the bottle of whiskey.